The Beauty of Restful Changemaking
A #NoHustleNovember love letter, a path to pivot, and monthly resources
Beloved,
Honestly, “beloved” feels too intimate to begin a letter to changemakers. It is not my usual tone. But for this November edition of “The Table” I don’t want to send you a typical email—brimming with resources and opportunities. I want to write you a real letter, like to a friend. And at the end, I’ll share some steps you can take to increase restful changemaking in your life, along with our regular content.
My Love Letter
A Path for Restful Changemaking
November Giveaway
Last Week of No Hustle November
November Advocacy Opportunities
Intentionality Through Life Mapping
I believe it is vital that this topic must be addressed—in fact, I’ll argue that how we approach our changemaking affects our well being, our continued connection to a cause, and the outcome of the difference we make more than anything else.
Let me begin by sharing a slice of my own story.
Once upon a time…
A little over eleven years ago I started realizing something was off. In one sense, I was at the top of my game. I was doing impactful work and was respected in my community. I had a beautiful family, a home, and was healthy.
I was the executive director of an anti-trafficking org. I was regularly writing about social issues and had been busy starting an annual grassroots campaign (which later became another nonprofit). I was also acting as a lead for a needs network as the volunteer coordinator, in which I was also actually doing much of the job of the director (who had burnt-out, but we didn’t yet know it). In addition, we were forming a community coalition of weekend food backpack programs for hungry kids, through which I found myself consulting others on starting their own programs.
I stumbled into the reality that the more successful you are, the more people will ask of you.
In case all that wasn’t enough, although I had stepped off my church staff, I was still leading a weekly woman’s mentoring group, was part of a weekly mommy group, and was a leader at my church (which was in major transition after our pastor resigned, also at least in part to burnout). To top it off, there was a young woman who lived with my family, who I was also mentoring to an extent.
I am writing this long list for you because I want you to see that changemaking had taken over my life—changemaking was my life. I was so focused on my life mission that I did all of this without pay. I was just beginning to even call it “work,” validating these high-responsibility roles.
Then, at home, I was the mommy of two young kids. One was struggling greatly in school. I also was a wife. And I was quite pregnant with my third child. As a family, we were doing mediocre at best.
Without boundaries
It doesn’t take a genius to read the above and know that my life wasn’t sustainable. Something had to give.
But I felt compelled to overstretch my limits because there was so much need and I was there to do something about these needs. Creating boundaries wasn’t even a fully-formed concept in the back of my mind.
I remember being at an event where another leader briefly shared that limits weren’t just a possibility, but necessary. I responded by asking her how to even word a sentence that could communicate “no” (I later learned this is called scripting). I needed the barest building blocks.
Harmful beliefs
Around the same time, my cousin shared a book with me that became revolutionary—With: Reimagining the Way You Relate To God by Skye Jethani. For me, it was the message I needed to begin addressing some foundational beliefs I had.
My extensive changemaking was driven by a deep need to see myself as worthy. I valued my mission to do good more than anything else—I valued this mission even more than I valued those who were most important to me. I couldn’t rest because I would disappoint God, others, and myself—especially myself. No matter what my parents, loved ones, and even my faith said about me, I didn’t believe I was enough unless I proved myself.
To make it worse, this version of world-changing-hustle unintentionally had me acting like the savior. I took on a job I was never designed for! The needs in every area were like a black hole. There was so much work to be done. So few were filling it. But I was determined, trying to fill in countless holes and stomping out the fires that would just pop up elsewhere.
And I loved it. I was good—even great—at it. But just because I was good at it didn’t mean it was good for me.
Under the surface
I was stressed, overwhelmed, and scared about the direction my family was headed in. I was frustrated by how my self-sufficient pride would creep into relationships. I could see that I was on a path to destruction, but whether through cynicism, exhaustion, or numbness was yet to be determined. I felt so fractured, pulled in every direction.
Here we are
Have you ever felt some of the above? Maybe changemaking isn’t your golden calf, but if you’re an adult juggling many responsibilities, or just care a lot about others or causes, I wouldn’t be surprised if you’ve felt at least some of the above. (And if you don’t relate at all, and are new to volunteering or activism, let this be your cautionary tale.)
Instead of rushing into how to fix this, let’s sit here in this tension a moment longer. Can you engage with it?
Where are you trying to put out fires?
Where do you see the needs and gaps in society so endless that the feelings overwhelm you?
Where does the anger rise up at those who aren’t jumping in to help?
Where do you not believe you are enough? Or aren’t doing enough?
In what ways are you trying to prove yourself?
Do you see any shame? Sadness? Cynicism?
What fears and uncertainties arise when you set aside everything you are doing and producing to simply just be?
I realize your struggle, the beliefs that drive it, and the resulting effects you experience and perpetrate are unique to you. However, in whatever those are, or whatever you're beginning to notice within these deeper places—join me in acknowledging them.
Take a breath. Just be, as you are, setting the hustle aside for a moment.
And know here, even here, you are beloved.
Restful changemaking
What would our changemaking look like if it came from a heart that believed we are beloved? That we can receive this gentle grace?
Our world would look very different.
And we would be different. We wouldn’t have to hustle, strive, or burnout to change the world. We changemake from a place of rest.
When advocates, invested community members, donors, nonprofit leaders, volunteers, activists, caregivers, and ministry-founders (or however else you define your changemaking) can really see how beloved they are, they can give from overflow and abundance instead of scarcity. They can make boundaries with gates instead of tall walls to protect themselves. They can share their light in dark places instead of flickering until they nearly snuff-out.
Restful changemaking begins we start believing we matter as much as those we serve, we matter as much as the cause we care about, the neighbors we love, and the mission we’re on.
And this is why today, in the middle of No Hustle November, I want to remind you that you are beloved. You aren’t alone. You are accepted and valued, even here, where “here” is for you.
From your cheerleader in changemaking,
-Elisa (also beloved)
2. A Path for Restful Changemaking:
How do you begin pivoting to be a more restful changemaker? As promised, here are the five steps I took to recalibrate my life:
Read it here: Five Steps to Begin Restful Changemaking
3. November Giveaway
How do you join the November giveaway? You just choose to do one thing from the book launch list here. Winner is chosen the last day of the month!
This month’s giveaway includes the Live Slowly, by Jodi Grubbs, earrings from Chosen & Free Co., a candle from Joy Marker, a fair trade chocolate bar, a “you matter” sticker pack from Sprinkles of Kindness and a copy of The Life Mapping Workbook. Enter here!
4. It’s the Last Week of No Hustle November!
We might be in the last week of November, but it is never too late! As a quick refresher, No Hustle November is simple and its goal is two-fold. In it we practice:
Intentionally choosing not to hustle when the pressure to hustle builds
Showing others how you are choosing to not hustle, as an example and inspiration to them to do the same
Maybe this is just what you need this week! If you want to learn more about No Hustle November, head here.
5. November Advocacy Opportunities
Check out the wide resources and communities already focusing on these areas of social change this month. This is an easier way for us to be less overwhelmed while engaging in meaningful social action.
Remember: these are shared at the beginning of each month. As November is around the corner, be sure to check these links again on Saturday to see what you can connect with in November!
6. Intentionality Through Life Mapping
I know you hear me talk about Life Mapping a lot, and this was because it was a major part of how I pivoted (which I share in this article). You are welcome to check it out to also become a more restful changemaker for this No Hustle November.
As always, you’re invited to schedule a coaching/consulting session with me. Make a plan for how you can best be intentional in your life in this season and be the changemaker you’re born to be!
A much needed letter to those of us who say "yes" to all the good things far to quickly and too often. Thank you.